SCARY THINGS

I took a walk with my husband the other day, and he mentioned getting a large grandfather clock. If you don't already know, we just moved into a turn-of-the-century Arts and Crafts home.

I looked at him sideways and asked him if he'd lost his mind. When I think of grandfather clocks, I think of Salem's Lot or Amityville Horror. I certainly didn't want to have one in my house! I'd have to run everytime I passed it. I suggested we also get a bunch of smiling clown dolls and place them strategically around the house. Maybe I could get a good workout.

He thought he could find a clock that might suit our house and not scare the bejesus out of me or have an eery gong at the top of the hour. Now I just need to find something that scares him. Having grown up on a farm, there isn't much that scares him: rats, raccoons, squirrels, dogs, creeking noises, basements, red rooms in basements, ghostly bartenders, nothing. Nothing that I can put in the house. What scares a man like that?

So far, the only thing that seems to scare him is the donor sticker on my driver's license. For some reason, it freaks him out, so he's made sure I haven't been able to put it on my new DL. Eh.